How to Write a Father of the Bride Speech

Delivering a memorable Father of the Bride speech is indeed a significant moment and is often one of the favourite speeches of the night with the right delivery. Here are some key points to consider for your award winning speech:

Acknowledgment and Gratitude: Start by acknowledging the importance of the day and expressing your gratitude. Thank the guests for being there, acknowledge your daughter's partner and their family, and show appreciation for anyone who helped make the day special. This sets a warm, inclusive tone.
Creativity and Entertainment: Avoid a tedious list of names and thanks. Instead, weave in creative elements. Use anecdotes, perhaps a light-hearted story about your daughter or a sweet memory that brings her character to life. This approach keeps the audience engaged and makes your speech more than just formalities.
Balancing Emotions with Humour: It’s natural for the speech to be emotional, but balancing this with humour is key. Share heartfelt moments or insights about your relationship with your daughter, and then lighten the mood with a funny observation or a gentle joke. This balance keeps the speech dynamic and relatable. However, ensure the humour is appropriate and respectful.
Personal Touch: Speak from the heart. Share what this moment means to you, how you’ve seen your daughter grow, and your hopes for her future. Personal insights add depth and sincerity to your speech.
End with a Toast: Conclude by inviting everyone to raise a glass. This could be a toast to the newlyweds, to love, to family, or to a happy future. It’s a traditional and elegant way to end your speech on a high note.

OPENING LINES

Starting off the father of the bride speech, it's your lovely task to extend the first welcome.

Begin by introducing yourself. Share your name and your relation to the bride. It might feel a bit unusual, but remember, not all brides have their fathers speaking; it could be a stepfather, brother, uncle, or cousin in this honoured role.
When addressing the audience, consider steering away from the more formal 'ladies and gentlemen.' In many speeches, a simple 'everyone' feels more relaxed and inclusive.
It's important to be mindful of family dynamics too. If appropriate, you’re speaking on behalf of both you and your wife. In cases of divorce, a mention on behalf of her family can be a graceful approach.

STRUCTURE

Structuring a father of the bride speech involves carefully balancing elements to create a meaningful, engaging narrative. Here’s a detailed breakdown:

The Welcome:

Begin with a lively and punchy welcome. This sets the stage for the rest of the speech.
If possible, include a humorous comment about your daughter, the venue, or the occasion. This helps to relax the audience and adds charm to your speech.

Acknowledging Key People:

Offer a specific welcome to the groom's parents, fostering a sense of unity and respect.
Introduce the groom, sharing your perspective or a brief story about him.
If suitable, include a toast to those who are missed but not forgotten, to honour their memory.

Celebrating Your Daughter:

Focus on your daughter’s life journey. Share anecdotes and stories that portray her personality and life experiences.
Highlight her achievements, both conventional and unique, in a way that celebrates her individuality and impact.

Introducing the Husband:

Transition into how your daughter met her husband. Share your first impressions of him and what makes him a great match for your daughter.
Express your happiness and acceptance in welcoming him into the family.

Acknowledging Your Wife or Partner:

If applicable, recognise the role of your wife or your daughter’s mother in her upbringing.
If you are divorced, ensure this acknowledgment is respectful and tactful.

Personal Reflection:

Summarise what your daughter means to you. This is where your deepest emotions and pride can be expressed.
Conclude with a toast to the newlyweds, offering your blessings and good wishes for their future together.

This structure ensures that the speech is comprehensive, touching upon all important elements and people in your daughter's life while keeping the focus on her. Remember, the key is to be heartfelt, genuine, and to speak from your personal experience and emotions.

JOKES

Incorporating humour into a father of the bride speech is essential to maintain a light and engaging atmosphere. Here are some tips on how to effectively weave in jokes and funny anecdotes:

Initial Joke: Place a well-thought-out joke right after your introduction. This serves to break the ice and set a relaxed, cheerful tone. The first joke is crucial; if it lands well, it can ease any nerves and get the audience on your side.
Condense Stories for Humour: When sharing stories or memories, distill them to their funniest core. Lengthy anecdotes can lose the audience’s attention, so aim for concise and humorous highlights.
Inclusive Humour: Ensure that your jokes are inclusive and understandable to all guests. Avoid private jokes or references that might confuse or alienate parts of the audience. The humour should be something everyone can appreciate and laugh at together.
Relevant and Personalised Jokes: Steer clear of generic, scripted jokes. Opt for humour that is directly related to the day's events, the venue, your daughter, her partner, or the union of the two families. Personalised jokes not only feel more genuine but also add a unique touch to your speech.

Example:

"I'm thrilled to see [Daughter's Name] and [Son-in-Law's Name] tie the knot. It’s not just a celebration of love; it’s also a farewell ceremony for [Daughter’s Name]'s long-standing, deep-rooted relationship with my credit card. Today, I'm officially declaring that relationship over!"

This type of humour works well because it's light-hearted, relatable, and gives a playful nod to the father-daughter dynamic. Remember, the key is to keep it fun, warm, and suitable for all audiences.

HUMOUR

Incorporating a lighthearted mention of your daughter's former boyfriends in your father of the bride speech can add a touch of humour, as long as it's done tastefully and in good spirit. Here are some guidelines for this part of the speech:

If you choose to mention past boyfriends, keep it very general and light-hearted. The focus should be on humour rather than specifics. Avoid naming names or referencing significant relationships.
You can playfully allude to past boyfriends with a humorous twist. For example, make a jest about the relief of your daughter not ending up with a quirky character you both encountered in the past. The key is to keep it vague and funny.
Be mindful of your daughter’s sensibilities. The joke should be something she would find amusing and not embarrassing or offensive.

ABSENT FREINDS

Addressing absent friends and family in your father of the bride speech is a sensitive and important element. It allows for a moment of reflection and honour for those who are missed on this special day. Here are some guidelines for this part of your speech:

This section of your speech should be a heartfelt tribute to those who are no longer with us or couldn't attend for other reasons. Keep it simple and respectful, focusing on the sentiment rather than details.
Handling Multiple Absences:

If there are key figures who have passed away and were particularly close to your family or the couple, it’s appropriate to mention them in some detail, acknowledging their significance.
If there are several absent friends and family members, it’s best to avoid listing names, which can become cumbersome. Instead, opt for a general acknowledgment that encompasses all those who are missed.

If you plan to mention any of the groom’s relatives, it’s respectful and important to check with him first. Ensure he is comfortable with you addressing this in your speech.

GROOMS FAMILY

Welcoming the groom's family and friends in your father of the bride speech is a wonderful opportunity to foster a sense of unity and shared joy. Here's how you can approach this part of your speech:

Fair Acknowledgement in Complex Family Situations: If there are divorces or complex family dynamics, make sure to mention all relevant parties respectfully. This ensures everyone feels included and acknowledged, which is important on such a significant day.
Playful Mention of Travel and Origins: If guests have traveled from near and far, make light of the situation. This can be a fun way to acknowledge their effort to be part of the celebration. Jokes about travel distances or the quirks of coming from different places can be engaging and relatable.
Finding Humour in Differences and Similarities: Look for amusing parallels or contrasts between your family and the groom’s. This might be in terms of regional traits, accents, or cultural differences. Finding humour in these details can add a light-hearted and inclusive touch to your speech.
Connecting Geographical Locations: If your families come from different parts of the country or world, think of a humorous connection.

YOUR DAUGHTER

Talking about your daughter in your father of the bride speech is a wonderful opportunity to highlight her personality, growth, and the journey that has led her to this special day. Here are some points to consider for this part of your speech:

Childhood Dreams and Character: Reflect on her early aspirations and character traits. How have they shaped the person she is today? This gives a lovely insight into her growth and development.
Entertaining Stories: Share stories that reveal her character, perhaps with a humorous twist. These anecdotes should illustrate how she has evolved over the years, showing both consistency and growth in her personality.
Passions and Interests: Discuss her childhood passions and interests. Lightly compare these to her current life or her partner. For example, a playful comparison between her childhood celebrity crush and her husband can be amusing and endearing.
Acknowledging Success: Celebrate her achievements in a way that's proud but not overbearing. Highlight her successes and milestones without delving too deeply into specifics like grades or accolades.
Academic and Professional Achievements: If academia was a significant part of her journey, mention it, but avoid focusing on the details like grades. Instead, emphasise the dedication and effort she put into her studies. If her strengths lay outside of academia, highlight her professional achievements or her qualities as an individual, like her work ethic, creativity, or passion for her career.
Personal Attributes and Roles: If she's a mother, celebrate her qualities in this role, highlighting her devotion and love. Find aspects of her personality and life that everyone can appreciate and respect, regardless of her specific achievements.

YOUR SON IN LAW

Speaking about your son-in-law in your father of the bride speech requires a thoughtful approach, considering your relationship with him and his role in your daughter's life. Here's how you can handle this part of the speech:

Touch on how your daughter and son-in-law met, but keep it brief. This story is usually a focal point in the groom's speech, so avoid overlapping too much to leave him room to elaborate.
Positive First Impressions:

This could include what you thought when you first met him and how you've seen him positively influence your daughter.
Personal anecdotes or light-hearted observations can be a great way to add warmth and humour to this section.

Character Traits and Humour:

Highlight his character traits humorously, especially those that complement or amusingly contrast with your daughter's. For instance, if he's particularly patient or organised, you might joke about how these traits will come in handy in their married life.

Navigating Tricky Relationships:

If your relationship with him is less close or complicated, aim for diplomacy. Express your happiness for your daughter and your hopes for their future together.
Even in this scenario, it's important to remain positive and avoid any negative comments or obvious omissions, as this could create awkwardness.

Avoid Negative Comments:

Refrain from making negative remarks or 'taking shots' at your son-in-law. The goal is to celebrate the union and maintain a positive atmosphere.

WIFE/PARTNER

Including a tribute to your wife or partner in your father of the bride speech is essential, as it acknowledges her significant role in your daughter's life. Here's how to approach this part of the speech:

Joint Acknowledgment: At the beginning of your speech, make it clear that the sentiments you're expressing are on behalf of both you and your wife. This sets a tone of unity and shared joy.
Handling Divorce Situations: If you're divorced, it's often more tactful to omit the phrase "on behalf of" and proceed directly to welcoming the guests. This approach avoids any potential discomfort or confusion.
Dedicated Section for Your Wife: Devote a section of your speech to acknowledging your wife’s role in your daughter's life. Highlight her contributions, the love she has given, and the incredible job she's done as a mother. This not only honours her but also strengthens the sentiment of family unity.
Acknowledging a Former Wife: If you are divorced, it's still important to recognise your former wife's contributions, especially regarding her role as a mother. Keep this tribute respectful and sincere, focusing on her positive attributes and the shared joy of your daughter's big day.
Including a New Partner: If you have a new partner, include her in the speech only if she has a good, functioning relationship with your daughter. It’s important that this inclusion feels natural and genuine and not forced.

CLOSING LINES

Crafting the closing lines of your father of the bride speech is a crucial moment, as it's often the part that leaves a lasting impression. Here are some tips to make your closing both memorable and heartfelt:

Summarise with Depth and Personalisation: Reflect on the various aspects of your speech and bring them together in a way that underscores what your daughter truly means to you. Go beyond generic descriptors like "amazing" or "special". Think about the unique qualities that define her – her spirit, her kindness, her resilience, etc.
Originality and Heartfelt Sentiments: Strive for originality. Your words should reflect your personal relationship with your daughter. If you find yourself repeating sentiments, try to consolidate these thoughts in a way that is more impactful and succinct.
Avoid Clichéd Marriage Advice: Steer clear of giving traditional marriage advice, especially if it doesn’t align with your personal experiences or the modern context of their relationship. Humour about your own experiences can be included, but it should be done tastefully and considerately.
Powerful and Moving Conclusion: Your closing lines should be powerful and moving. Speak from the heart about what it’s been like to watch your daughter grow and become the person she is today. Emphasise the privilege of being part of her journey and your happiness in seeing her embark on this new chapter of her life.

DIVORCE

Navigating the topic of divorce in a father of the bride speech requires sensitivity and tact, especially considering the varied dynamics that can exist. Here's how you can approach this:

Positive Relationship with Former Wife: If you have a good relationship with your daughter's mother, it's important to include her positively in the speech. Acknowledge her role and contributions as a mother. This can be done by praising her efforts and expressing gratitude for her part in raising your daughter. Doing so shows respect and appreciation, which is meaningful to your daughter and all involved.
More Complex Relationship Dynamics: In cases where the relationship with your former wife is less amicable, the wording becomes crucial. However, it's vital not to completely omit her from the speech. A simple and respectful mention can suffice, such as acknowledging the great job she has done as a mother. This approach avoids any negative connotations while still recognising her role in your daughter’s life. Avoid any language that could be construed as negative or resentful. The focus should remain on the celebration and your daughter's happiness.

LENGTH

Managing the length of your speech is crucial for keeping your audience engaged and ensuring the smooth flow of the wedding festivities.

Aim for Efficiency: The most impactful speeches are those that convey their message efficiently. Aim for a speech duration of around 7 minutes. This length is generally sufficient to cover all necessary elements—welcoming guests, sharing anecdotes, acknowledging key family members—without dragging on.
Quality Over Quantity: If you prefer a shorter speech, that's perfectly fine, but it's essential to ensure that it still includes all the crucial elements. Every word should count, and the speech should be as entertaining and inclusive as possible. Avoid turning the speech into a mere list of names and facts.
Consider the Overall Event: Remember, as the first speaker, you set the tone for the other speeches. A lengthy speech can make it more challenging for the rest of the speakers to maintain the audience's attention. Keeping your speech concise respects their time and the audience's attention span. A lengthy opening speech can lead to a cumulative effect where an hour or more passes before the final speech, which is not ideal.

TOAST

When it comes to toasts in the father of the bride speech, it's important to focus on simplicity and relevance. Here's how you can approach this aspect:

Single Toast at the End: Typically, the father of the bride should make only one toast, and that is towards the end of the speech, honouring the newlyweds. This toast is a pivotal moment, symbolising your blessing and well-wishes for the couple’s future together. Focus on the significance of your toast to the happy couple. Use this moment to encapsulate the essence of your speech, reflecting your joy, pride, and hopes for their married life.
Avoid Overextending with Multiple Toasts: Resist the temptation to include toasts to other parties like the bridesmaids or other wedding helpers. These acknowledgments are typically covered by the groom in his speech. Including them in your speech can unnecessarily elongate it and may overlap with the groom’s content.

TIPS

Focus Away from Yourself:

Remember, the speech is not about you. The focus should be on celebrating your daughter, her partner, and their union.

Center on Your Daughter:

The core of your speech should be your daughter. Resist the temptation to go off on tangents or get overly caught up in jokes and anecdotes that don't relate to her. Your speech should reflect her journey, her qualities, and your relationship with her.

Avoid Unnecessary Props or Photos:

Using props or childhood photos during the speech can often be more of a distraction than an enhancement. A well-delivered, concise speech has a more significant impact.

Steer Clear of Sensitive Topics:

Avoid bringing up family tensions, past conflicts, or controversial topics. Keep the tone positive and inclusive.

Respectful Mention of Ex-Partners or Difficult Relationships:

If addressing complex family dynamics, such as divorce or a challenging relationship with the groom, do so with respect and diplomacy. Focus on the positive aspects and the joy of the occasion.

No Embarrassing Stories or Overly Personal Details:

While humorous anecdotes can be delightful, avoid stories or details that might embarrass your daughter or other guests. The goal is to celebrate, not to cause discomfort.

Delivery of Speech

If possible, memorise the speech. Otherwise consider using cue cards or reading from a sheet. You may find it helpful to to place every new sentence on a new line so you can easily find where you were if you lose track of where you were.
Be mindful of your pacing, tone, and body language. Making eye contact with the audience, especially your daughter, makes your words more impactful.